Nickelodeon
Jeff Harris, August 13, 1999 (edited and updated August 2002)

Before the network decided to become the second coming of Disney, Nickelodeon was actually watchable. When the popular channel was launched in 1979 as Pinwheel, a local cable station in Columbus, Ohio owned by this company called Warner Amex (which was owned by Warner Communications [now Time-Warner] and American Express), it had very modest beginnings and a good mission: provide kids with a network they could call their own. Well, not really. The network was initially dedicated to educating the youth of Ohio. When it went national two years later under a new name, Nickelodeon (based on the five-cent movie theaters of yesteryear), the world was surprised at what they offered. And kids who grew up in the eighties remember what they had to offer.

Nickelodeon was the only network on cable that didn't talk down to kids. These shows were both informative and entertaining. The network provided many international offerings from Japan, England, France, and especially Canada, where one of their "trademark" shows, You Can't Do That on Television, originated from, as well as homegrown programming, like this block that later spun-off into a little old network in '81 called MTV (I think you've heard of it). At night, prior to the creation of the Nick At Nite lineup, Nickelodeon turned into the ARTS Channel, a precursor to A&E. Around the mid-eighties, and under the ownership of Viacom, the network's logo changed, but the quality of the shows remained the same. Heck, it got even better! Stalwarts like YCDTOTV and Pinwheel remained while newer shows like Double Dare, Danger Mouse, Don't Just Sit There!, Think Fast, Finders Keepers, Turkey Television, Out of Control, The Tomorrow People, and others continued to live up to the Nickelodeon tradition of quality entertainment. In the late-90s, Double Dare was a part of some Fox affiliates afternoon lineup, long before the creation of the Fox Kids Network. Even Canadians got a its own Nick-inspired network called YTV which was (and still is) even better than Nickelodeon by many accounts. By the time the 90's began, Nickelodeon began showing shows for kids who were around when the network was young, like Hey Dude, and the Nick'tweeners shows Clarissa Explains it All, Welcome Freshmen, and Fifteen, the latter of which was Nick's first serialized drama. Times were high at Nickelodeon. Then, it happened. The beginning of the end.

The Nicktoons came. 

Sure, it showed promise, but the Nicktoons marked a new era for the network. The beginning of the dark ages of the network. Sure, some good shows came out of these dark ages like Salute Your Shorts, Space Cases, the limited remake of The Tomorrow People, and Pete and Pete. Because of the Nicktoons and many of the network's newer developments like GUTS, Roundhouse and the YTV co-production of Are You Afraid of the Dark, many shows got cancelled, including the heavily popular You Can't Do That on Television (a show that many of the network's trademarks, including green slime and the term "I don't know" to trigger the substance), Double Dare, and Special Delivery (which offered international specials and movies). Of course, Nicktoons weren't immune from this ransacking either. The Ren & Stimpy Show, the most popular of the three Nicktoons (even airing on MTV at one point), was also one of the most controversial to many at the network. The show's creator, a ginchy Canadian by the name of John Krisfalusci, was responsible for many of the cool, albeit disgusting, episodes. However, the higher-ups at Nick decided that the show was too disgusting, even for them (ironic, considering the fact that Nickelodeon solidified it's rude and crude image by airing an episode of YCDTOTV dedicated to farts). So the network decided to take away the show from him and that oh-so-sweet studio Spumco and make it a kinder, gentler show. In a pig's eye! Games Animation, as the new Nick-created studio became known as, made the show even grosser than ever, making it totally unwatchable and eventually giving Nick reason enough to cancel the series.

When Nick Jr., the network's preschool lineup which is basically a watered down, saccarrin version of it's early lineup, decided to scale down its programming, a lot of shows had to go. Especially the anime (oh, I bet you guys were wondering when I was going to get to that!). Sure, they didn't have the action quotient many of today's anime have, but the shows on Nick, Jr. were enjoyable. Maya The Bee, Adventures of The Little Koala, Noozles, and Grimm's Fairy Tales were all gone by the mid-ninties in favor of non-animated shows. Of course they brought some international flavor that was missing in recent years to the Nick, Jr. lineup, but everything at the network just seemed wrong. Nickelodeon didn't want to be satisfied just being a network. Oh, no. They also wanted to be a brand name like Disney.

It all began in Disney's homebase, Orlando, Florida. The network opened it's first major attraction, Nickelodeon Studios at Universal Studios (which is owned by the good people at Seagram's, the minority owner of Infinite Loser #2, Studios USA). It doubled as a production studio, but it became the place that Nickelodeon's corporate identity began. They became the first kids' network, the only place where a kid can be a kid. Heck, they even decided a stupid belief that whenever you think of kids, you think of Nickelodeon. Once that belief was cemented, the marketing blitz began! Videos, clothing, toys, food, candy, electronics, merchandising, stores, Splat City attractions at Paramount Parks, and other Nickelodeon paraphenillia began circulating around the world. The only products I remember Nick having in the 80's were Green Slime Shampoo and the Double Dare and Finders Keepers home games.

A majority of the Nick products featured Rugrats, a modest cartoon which did so well in reruns it became the network's marquee show and top moneymaker. Alienated productions like Doug became background shows. In fact, when Disney bought Jumbo Pictures, they decided to make brand new episodes of Doug, which became the marquee show of their ABC Saturday morning lineup and began the Nickelodeonfication of Disney (but that's another story). This move prompted them to make newer episodes of Rugrats, but it lacked the feel and originality of the first 65 episodes. It was only made to make more merchandising. Last year, they made a feature film just to introduce a new baby, which practically ruined the series even further (nothing against the actress providing the voice, the beautiful and talented Tara Charendorf [Strong], who also provides the voices of Bubbles on Powerpuff Girls and Batgirl on Batman: Gotham Knights [bka The New Batman/Superman Adventures]). The 1999-2000 season produced one of the worst crop of shows ever (CatDog, SpongeBob SquarePants, Brothers Grub, Cousin Skeeter, The Amanda Show, Animorphs, Figure It Out and countless others with only a few exceptions [Wild Thornberrys, Caitlin's Way, and the What a Cartoon!-inspired Oh Yeah! Cartoons] showing promise). Nickelodeon is going through a downward spiral with no hope on the horizon.

You're probably wondering why I wrote about Nickelodeon at a Toonami-themed site. Well, there's kind of a void missing at the first kids network: action-animation! The network claims that it gives its viewers a choice. They have aired action-animation shows in the past like Spartacus and The Sun Beneath the Sea and on a few episodes of Grimms' Fairy Tales. So why doesn't Nickelodeon believe it can air a show like Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball Z instead of something like CatDog or SBSP? They should look to Cartoon Network's Toonami lineup, Saban's Fox Kids lineup, or even to YTV's daily schedules to realize that action cartoons are very popular with kids and those who are young at heart. Nickelodeon, or even their TV Land network would be an excellent home for shows like GI Joe, Transformers, and many classic action shows as well as modern shows like Shadow Raiders, Mighty Max, and others. Cartoon Network realizes that you don't have to own a show to air on your network to make it a hit! Nick has even done an excellent job programming Noggin and Nick GAS to be like Nickelodeon used to be. Instead of being the second coming of Disney or even MTV Jr., which the afternoon lineup and SNICK Saturday night block are becoming like, Nick needs to concentrate on the first network. Until they ever get it right, Nickelodeon is, and likely forever will be, an Infinite Loser.

Go here to see how the actions of one man destroyed one cable network (before he set his sights on a cable titan).