I failed you, the readers.
I believed we could make one last fight, one last shot to save and preserve Toonami in the years to come. I knew right away that it was going to be an uphill fight, and I knew it was going to take a miracle considering the circumstances we were in before I launched. A friend of mine told me just give up, but I didn't pay any attention, and another friend said what I was planning was wayyyyyyyyyyyyy fricken overdue, and I ignored it. But I felt like I had to at least try to fight back for something I believe in, and I truly believed that Toonami could be salvaged and restored to its original glory. I know I wasn't the only one who believed that.
I wish that Cartoon Network did as well.
Yesterday's upfronts surprised and disappointed me. The sudden announcement that Cartoon Network plans to focus Friday nights on action programming, highlighted by Clone Wars, Ben 10, and The Brave and the Bold, while Toonami's unexplained absence was disheartening to say the least and a critical blow to pretty much everything I tried to stand for. Toonami and my whole core mission of The X Bridge.
The X Bridge, in all of its incarnations, was built on the fact that all action-animation was great. I didn't believe that anime was better than American animation nor vice-versa. I believed that if it's good, it's good. Toonami was the pulpit that celebrated that belief, but the powers that be decided that Toonami should deviate from that a long time ago. At times, it seemed that anime was overshadowing Western animation on the block. First it was good anime, then it became just availiable anime. Anything that was made in Japan that wasn't on Adult Swim was on Toonami, and I mean anything and everything from Gundam and Outlaw Star to Hamtaro and Pokemon. Nowadays, Toonami is even an afterthought for original broadcasts of anime.
The announcement of the creation of the new fantasy/adventure block on Cartoon Network focusing on Western-created productions was a slap in the face to everyone who believed in the core mission of Toonami to provide the finest action cartoons on the planet. Toonami, if it does survive, will likely become all-anime while the currently-nameless Friday block will be all-Western and will likely get more promotion than Toonami.
Revolution 11, at least the first incarnation, is a failure, and I blame myself. I should have done it sooner than I did, and I should have tried harder. The Toonami fanbase is there, but it's hardly at the levels it was when DBZ, ReBoot, Sailor Moon, Batman, and Gundam dominated the block. The spirit that guided the creation of sites like this one dissapated a long time ago, and the sense of community isn't there anymore, and I feel responsible for all of that. I'm not at my lowest point, mind you, but right now, I'm almost there. I'm a little disheartened and feeling a little dejected. I'm very upset at myself, the direction of the campaign, and the end results. Toonami, as the fans grew to know it, is gone. It's a memory now. A great memory, but a memory nonetheless. I really wanted to fight more, but mentally, I'm exhausted and sick.
I'm sick of having to suck up to a company I no longer respect. That company ceased to exist the moment Ted left the building. Thank you, Cartoon Network, for freeing me from caring about anything you or your poorly-managed owners do from here on out.
I'm sick of being the only person who cares about a block many people said died a long time ago. Toonami, at least the Toonami I loved, was one of a kind. Often imitated, but never duplicated. Its make will never be seen by people ever again as the sun is about to come down on a world without it.
I'm sick of being a cliche. People having a "Jeff Harris moment" when they rant about something they care about. I'm not an adjective or an action.
I'm just sick of it all. Everything I've fought for over the years have been for nothing.
I'm a failure. I've failed so many people. I've failed myself.
A part of me died today, and it's a part I really didn't want to see go. At least, not until I was older. But something will grow in its place.
We all have to move on and grow up sometimes. We all need to find better places and more open spaces that's willing to grow creatively instead of finding solace in something that grew stagnant over time. It's not a new beginning by any stretch. We will remember the past, but we must also move on, leaving the past behind and looking ahead. It's time for me to look past this failure and go forward down this bridge of mine.
Failure isn't an end for me. There's no ending here.
*end transmission*
Jeff Harris,
The X Bridge Creator/Webmaster
April 4, 2008 (40 Years - His Dream Still Lives)
